I hate to admit it but my anxiety has been acting up quite a bit lately. Between balancing work stress, freelancing, blogging, yoga teacher training, and a social life, at times I feel like I’m trying to scoop water out of a boat with a hole in it. Something isn’t working.
While some of the stress is of a positive nature (hello YTT and the boy!), they still add to an already full bucket. I needed to figure out how to find the balance of them all and what I really need.
As I was talking to my friend about it over the weekend, she goes “when are you taking time for Katie? Or even taking a nap?”
Rest. It hit me that what I really need is rest. I haven’t been meditating as regularly and when it came to practicing yoga at home, I didn’t want to practice my favorite vinyasa flow, I wanted to take restorative postures and hold them for extended periods of time using my cushy booster and new yoga blanket. My body was directing me to rest.
I should have known. I needed rest.
Standing at the top of the Bob Kerrey Pedestrian Bridge in Omaha a few weeks ago, I was mesmerized by the chunks of ice floating down the river. It was freezing and windy but I found myself in complete awe and stillness as the ice swiftly moved below my feet. *** I was reminded of the yogic idea of Ishvara Pranidhana or the idea of surrender. In this moment, I was still like when I'm laying on my back in savasana at the end of class. I didn't allow myself to think about a million different things happening in my life, but rather surrendered to the moment before me and just let go. *** All of these moments where yoga presents itself in my life feel like confirmation that I am on the right path. I don't need to overthink my every decision or thought, but rather surrender to the journey.
But when life gets busy, full, stressful, or whatever you want to call it, and regardless if there’s positive stress mixed in, we have to take rest. In yoga, we call this Ishvara Pranidhana. It’s the idea of surrender. Like that moment at the end of yoga (especially at the end of a tough hot vinyasa class) where you’re finally invited into savasana and never in your life has STILLNESS felt so freaking good.
Sometimes we need rest. Sometimes those of us who are prone to anxiety or overworking ourselves are forced into it. For me, this is usually when I get sick. It should come as no surprise that last week I was fighting a cold. Yet here I was still wondering, what’s wrong with me?!
I needed rest.
Before you add something else to your to-do list today, check in with yourself first. Maybe what you need is rest.
I ask you today: how are you doing? Do you need rest? When was the last time you checked in with yourself and what your mind, body, and soul need? Maybe today you do that. In fact, today I challenge you to do that.